It’s Tuesday again. Right? It’s funny how most days, the time seems to wander aimlessly, going from hour to hour with slight ticks. I’m mostly nonplussed. I write. I drink tea. I watch the random episode of Murder, She Wrote. Each day stretches like a cat, unencumbered.
Then, suddenly, I find myself writing a weekly update post and think, “Didn’t I just do this?” Well, yes, yes you did! Last week!
Hmmm…says I. Chronos and Kairos are having a row and I’m caught betwixt the two.
How are you? How was your week? Whether it went by fast, slow, inside out or in between, I certainly hope it was a good one.
I’ve noticed how each week I learn something new about how I work. What makes me tick. What helps and what hinders the momentum of creativity. Mostly I’m unsurprised but with each passing moment, if I remember to stay awake, I catch subtlties that amaze.
For example : I decided to start going out, writing in different places, getting a new view. Perspective shift is, after all, enlightening and enables me to see with enhanced vision. Last week I made it out once. The other two days allocated for such “writing in the wild adventures” saw me docked snugly at home. And I completed a novella.
That’s a piece of writing between 17,500 and 40,000 words. If you’re curious, a novel is approximately 50,000 words long and short stories can be anywhere from 3 words to 17,000. Technical, yes. Necessary? Meh…I suppose so.
Anywho, I did it. Hooray.
This week looks to be shaping up much the same way though I suspect I’ll get out two days a week instead of just the one.
And you know what? I’m totally OK with that.
Years ago, that would have upset me greatly. I had PLANS. I’d created a whole SCHEDULE! WHY was it falling apart around me after just one week?
Could I fight harder and make these three days happen? Sure.
Could I have taken my husband to the courthouse for jury duty, gone out to the library, waited to hear from him just two hours later that he’d be dismissed to go his merry way, packed everything up, carted m’self back across town to pick him up, drop him back off at work and then go pick him up 8 hours later?
Sure. But, how hectic would that have been? Instead, I stayed home and finished at 20,000 word document.
What I’m getting at is this: we plan our days. We mean well. We write things in PEN and determine that they will happen THAT WAY (or else).
Seldom does life cooperate in such an easy-going fashion. That’s when you have to take a step back, listen to what your body and mind are telling you, pay attention to life going on around you and learn to think on your feet.
Would you like another example?
For the past month and a half I’ve been working on submission. I did four different versions of it and was pretty pleased with the final result. Then I asked my husband to help me out with one aspect of it and we found out that it wasn’t the best it could be.
What did I do?
Did I say, “Ah, well, that’s fine. I’ll send it anyway.”
No. I didn’t. I decided to put it on the shelf and revisit it for another publication whose deadline was further out and would allow me the time I need in order to get it to it’s best possible state of being before I send it off to those who make final decisions on things like articles published in nationally syndicated magazines.
And that’s OK. It takes a lot of guts to put your work out into the world. It also takes a lot of guts to know when your work isn’t your best and to put it on hold until it is.
And I’m fine with that. In fact, I’m so fine with it, I’m kind of scared. Seriously. Two years ago I would have freaked the freak out at missing a self-imposed deadline and felt like a failure when the truth of the matter is the layout of the project just isn’t conducive to the structure of the submission guidelines. Therefore, I pivot, I change, I edit and reconfigure and by August, I’ll have this thing all primed and polished and it will be the best version I can present.
Many of us are bothered by change. I’d say, in some capacity, we all are. Even good change can cause stress and anxiety. When seasons change, we mostly know what to expect. When our health changes, we get knocked backwards. When we get bad news we may react poorly. When we get an answer we’ve been praying for, we may freeze up wondering just how on earth we’re actually going to be able to handle it.
But change is inevitable. It’s the one constant in this life. Well, I suppose that could go in the list of “death and taxes” but I’ll beg Ol’ Ben’s pardon if I stick with my example. One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in the past ten years is to make peace with change. The good. The bad. The weird. I’ve had all of those come at me in this past decade and I’ve reacted with anger, fear, resentment, panic, genuine disinterest and careful acquiescence. I can assure you, the latter is by far the best way to go.
For me, retreating into anger is a desperate cry for safety. Change means I have to get out of the boat. I’m no longer able to stay where I’m sure of dry land. Even if the situation isn’t ideal, it’s familiar and for humans, familiarity equals safety or at least perceived safety.
Safety is a wonderful thing, but it can hold you back. When you choose to remain in a situation simply because unexpected change requires you to adapt and perhaps even begin again, that’s an example of a dangerous type of safety. Anger and fear become our shields and we use them often as a way of self-defense.
Anger and fear make us lash out, drains us of energy, messes up our health and our ability to reason. Disinterest makes us apathetic, causes us to look to others to do what is necessary and just leave us out of it until absolutely necessary. But to take the news with caution, to seek the truth in every situation, to understand (even when the change is completely and totally off the wall) and to accept is not defeat. It’s not even a way of settling. No, it’s a simple acknowledgement of “This is the way things are at the present. I can fight it, exhaust myself and possibly make things worse OR I can learn what I can, understand what I can, do what I can, work with what I’ve been given and do my best until I can do better.”
Now maybe that sounds to you like giving up. It’s not. My biggest fear has always been having to settle for some hum drum existence rather than do the things I crave. And I fought change tooth and nail only to make myself physically, emotionally and mentally sick.
BUT, when I took in the information given me, acknowledged that it was, at this time, the truth of the situation, and then began to take steps to making things work within those parameters, I began to see things happen.
Things will never be perfect. If you wait for perfect before you start anything you’ll wait forever and never begin. However, if you take things as you find them and begin to make something beautiful from it, you’ll find poetry in the most mundane and the extraordinary hidden within the most ordinary of days.
This week, look for opportunities to learn, about yourself and the way you react to the world around you. When things begin to unravel from your carefully laid plans, take a few steps back and ask yourself, “What can I do about this situation? How can I still pursue my goals and advance in the direction of my dreams despite this shift?” Take your time and you’ll find the answers. Then, rearrange your thoughts on the subject, pivot, and move on.
Just getting angry will only waist valuable time and energy and heaven knows we all need as much of those as we can get!
No matter how fast or slowly that time wanders by.
Have a lovely week, my Friends. Let me know what’s going on in your life in the comments. I really do want to hear from you.
xo Jen